When I was 15, under the bad influence of some friends, I tried on drugs. I was addicted to Ketamine for more than a decade, but I had never felt bad about it because it seemed to be causing me not much harm. I still managed my career and family pretty well, and I thought everything was under my control. That was why it never occurred to me that I need to quit drugs.
When the drug problem of my ex-husband and I was starting to ruin our family life, and our two kids were getting older, we were urged by my then mother-in-law to go to drug rehab, for the sake of being responsible parents. In 2011, I reluctantly complied with her and got admitted into Girl Centre for drug rehab treatment. Every day I had to attend prayer meetings, Bible study classes and spend devotional time. Engaging in such a spiritual environment and intensive religious activities, soon I received Jesus Christ as my saviour. In this year of treatment, I gained much knowledge of the Scripture intellectually, but I was not truly converted in my heart. I became a hypocritical Christian.
“The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful." Matthew 13:22
After completing the treatment, though I kept attending Sunday service and the prayer meeting on Wednesday, I was also taking drugs at the same time. I returned to my old self, leading a life of excesses and pursuing fame and fortune. My heart was seized by worldly care and lust, forgetting all that I had learned from the Bible.
As I got addicted with drugs again, I lost my marriage, health, wealth and career. All of a sudden, everything went bad on me, and I was devastated. I just wanted to end everything. When was about to take my life and looking for ways to commit suicide, God showed me a picture in my mind: my mom was waiting for me at home. Because of my mother, I gave up my suicidal thoughts and decided to go to Girl Centre for gospel rehab treatment again. I knew it must be God who gave me such idea. When I was waiting for my admission into the Centre, I was grateful to God that He sent me angels to walk and pray with me through the valley of darkness. God is merciful, and I could feel His reassuring presence. He wiped away my tears and healed my brokenness.
During the year of treatment, I learned how awful it was to have my own way, and that everything was beyond my control. I understand that Jesus is my Savior and Lord of my life. God's love puts me back on the right track, and He gives me a life of abundance. To give thanks to the loving God who never forsakes me, I am now serving at Operation Dawn, helping students quit drugs. I hope to continue my learning here, strengthen my faith and deepen my relationship with God.
I am grateful to Operation Dawn for offering me a learning opportunity again, and all spiritual mentors for teaching me how to discern God's will. I encounter God at Operation Dawn, and it is God who guides me to the right way and holds my future.